I guess I should start here, the very first step I am taking. I have been meaning to have a steady flow to my writing. A constant trickle of my thoughts onto a platform such as this one I created for myself. Its been hard. Economics of the land have been consuming most of my mind and very little of my energy. It seems I have been to weak to hustle, to tired to use my creative mind into anything at all. No sketch, no pic, no word typed. Yes, thats been me. Boring and unproductive, but this morning I felt different, with an energy to at least last me the following week. Until another outpouring.
My son is learning to crawl and stand on his own, its been a nightmare really getting to grasp with the fact that everything around the house has to be tethered to something else to avoid him falling backward (something he has done a couple of times more than what his mother knows) and as he turns one in a few days from now, I am proud to have achieved a year in a future leader’s life. Mentoring him and teaching him the existence of the word ‘NO’, a word kids nowadays don’t get to hear often. I believe the word is “spoilt” that best suits such kids.
Things for him have to shape up way better than what they have for me as an African making a living in the continent. A better education, health and living standards, all these are issues that run through my head every morning, knowing that if I don’t make it, the possibility of him following suit is high unless the universe thinks different.
In my reflection of life and what to make of it. Pushing hard to make it work, it hit me! That no matter how hard we can push, if the rain maker decides otherwise, its all in vain. It reminds me of the deep prayers the Israel King David made for his son to live only to get sad news that he had passed (God had made a decision to punish him for his adultery and as we know, His word is final).
Then news came to me about how Mandoza had passed on while entering the hospital gate to get treatment and I felt a strong sadness inside me. He was almost there! Would it have changed or mattered if he had gone inside to see the doctors? I guess not because the decision had been made already. Its sad because of how hard he had been pushing, how hard he was fighting, not only for him but family, friends and fans. Sadly the cancer got the better of him at a time when most believed, he would pull through. A thought rushed to my aunt who also taken away because of breast cancer. I believe the world faces a greater threat in health through this disease than any other threat on the planet.
Mandoza popularly known for his hit song Nkalakata was in the words of many music lovers, a revolutionist and a pioneer. Many who came after him, owe him for what there are today because he made them believe that they too can make it. Sad times for the music and kwaito-loving streets of Mzansi. He died fighting, trying to make it better for him and his family. He never gave up till the last breathe and thats what every father is aiming to do. While its sad, I admire the courage to fight and the determination to go on, no matter how slim the chances were for him in the end. May he rest in peace and his music live forever.
While in deep thought and sadness about life I began to reflect on my own and how hard I have had to compromise and shift priorities and geo locations in the effort of making it better (I can cry all night on the mess people have thrown into my life such that I have ceased to exist as what I dreamt of being in life and living as what they have made us to be). Being 34 tallies with the number of friends that one has accumulated and its again sad to know that many of them ceased to be what they had always wanted to be and began fighting (what seems to be a losing battle as more and more kleptocrats are born in Africa than anywhere else in the world further hindering progress of the masses) just saw they can see the next day.
What Mduduzi Edmund Tshabalala was fighting against was a disease eating up his brain and was very personal till he decided to share it with the rest of us. However we seem to have a cancer of our own, economically, politically and socially. A fight we can all relate to and encourage one another to be aware of. Corruption and unconstitutional behaviour from our leaders remains the biggest and most deadliest cancer we can ever experience as a people of this generation.
I take every fight we have with politicians and failing leaders as the worst cancer we can ever suffer from. This form of cancer will not only lead us to death but even to the sad deaths of our children’s future. It is sad to note that the cancer we fight against is hereditary, and if not nipped now, will continue to exist for generations to come, what a scary thought.
My President speaking at a summit in Isla de Margarita said,
“Poverty is a threat to international peace and security and the wellbeing of people ……”
And this said whilst Zimbabweans are scattered like wild birds all over the continent looking to gather food and get rid of poverty only the masses can see.
““Unity, solidarity and cohesion are our most potent weapons.” President Mugabe said
Whilst every attempt to show the present government that no such thing exists in our country has been treated as an act of terror.
With such I rest my case.
Other than worrying about the usual (the future of Zimbabwe leadership, the future of Africa leadership, the high cost of living, unemployment, entrepreneurship, next meal on the table, etc) few things have given me joy over the past week.
It seems, in football matters, there have been messiahs and fallen heroes. A mixture of pure geniuses and dunderheads. Wins and losses. Celebrations and tears. And as messiahs go, Pep Guardiola has become a true one for my team, Manchester City. Sadly for our neighbours, who have lost three games in a row, it does not look good for them despite heavy spending during the transfer window. It might seem that Jose Mourinho’s ‘specialness’ is fading off and if anything should support this theory, it should be the losing streak they find themselves in at the moment. There are plenty games to be played till the curtain is drawn on this season but one has to worry having gone three down consecutively as the league itself is placed to have a photo finish to it.
These are the little pleasures we indulge in to forget the knee deep mess we find ourselves in here in Africa. We take every moment as it comes and have learnt to look at the distant clouds and the wind’s direction to judge the next storm. We wait calmly, almost in hiding as we see others being persecuted, maimed or going missing for the same things that we hold dearly in our hearts. We support them in spirit and Facebook likes and shares in the hope to see a better end to our suffering. These hashtags and movements give us hope for better days to come and we say silent prayers for their success.
I will end with the following quote, hoping it will inspire the many lambs out there and motivate the Phoenixes to once again rise…
“And when they seek
to oppress you
And when they try
to destroy you,
Rise and rise again
Like the Phoenix
from the ashes
Until the lambs
have become lions
and the rule of Darkness
is no more”
— Maitreya The Friend of All Souls, The Holy Book of Destiny.